The Roots of Bitterness

The Roots of Bitterness

Bitterness and its defensives cause a rift in our relationships. Sometimes, the root causes come from situations if we have been wronged against.


Let us look at three root areas that may cause bitterness.

  1. Pain
  2. Abuse
  3. Jealousy/Envy

A wall is one of the first stages that begins to happen. The mission of the wall is to increase the strength of the partition by layering the bitterness of discontent in that person or object.



As the strength of the wall increases which is being built by bitterness, Pain is often a common denominator in these situations. A measure of envy also, is added to the mix.

Pain, drives the hurt and thoughts of trying to get even with that person to the forefront. When we hit this level, we tend to think that the entire problem started instantly but, the truth may be bitterness. The action is not created over night; it is slow and unassuming.

The pain runs in a pulse like manner, normally initiated by worry or some form of anxiety. Also, pain can be set in motion by something said that may remind you of the object, person or even seeing that person may link the crisis of that person all together visually.


Abuse is another key reason because it forms a combustion chamber type scenario to the individual that this bad thing happened and continues to happen in their mind. Abuse gives that feeling of being trapped and pressured with a no way-out attitude. So, you feel overwhelmed by this crisis and may find it very hard to cope. Ultimately feeling like a failure.

Armoring the unseen vulnerability for the victim can be presented by saying “an abuser no longer has the right to short-circuit your future” As you are repeating this this statement, you have just cancelled that stronghold that has had a grip on you for a long time.

As powerlessness is created by abuse, you become empowered by exposing it. Talking about what happened physically, mentally, or emotionally allows a reassurance of knowing that:

  1. You are not alone.
  2. You can take back the control that taken.
  3. Healing in your life becomes accelerated.


Jealousy/why me/Envy

Jealousy, envy and the why me attitude, tends to ride the backs of torment. As you dwell on what has happened, you then become tormented in your own mind. The mind creates an offensive and causes it to control what’s happening to try and protect itself from hurt.

These areas if not addressed become very serious. This causes repeated retaliation and forms some addictive co- dependent symptoms to flare up. The lack of peace knowing what others may have done to us separates us from functioning well in society.

Where Roots Begin

The Root of unhealthy symptoms begins hidden within the soul of our heart. All these roots have a common goal and that is to intertwine the mind trying to find a way to heal itself of some events. If the events go unchecked it will cripple your very existence making you inoperable to move freely, trying to cement itself into an false sense of peace in your own life.

The object of Bitterness

The object of bitterness which becomes the object of pain, results in the body of hatred. In conclusion, if we cannot forgive that person and let whatever bitterness go, will indicate that we carry that same negative condition in us not to forgive.

The Antidote solutions

  1. Create a willingness to forgive and make it a part of your makeup of who you are becoming.
  2. Forgives heals the body and mind. Your mind will decide to not hold on to negative thoughts and promote positive ones.
  3. Letting the bitterness go requires ownership. Own the fact you were wrong to hold that bitterness against that person.
  4. Allow them the time to process your request of forgiveness
  5. Discharge that person from your expectations
  6. Set healthy boundaries for you and the person you offended, there still may be some residual effects of resentment lingering.
  7. Seek out the other person for forgiveness, this will restore healthy relationships. This is hard but necessary, it is important to not rush this process.
  8. The truth should be spoken in love, speak life into the situation and re-program the mind so the new you, is present.
  9. Do not arm yourself through weight gain. Sometimes in despair he/she, arm themselves through weight, to help prevent future attacks; if I make myself unattractive they will leave me alone and I won’t feel pressured.

  • Treat yourself to positive self talk by saying “you have incredible valve”.

Test these new solutions and be renewed as your mind is transformed.


© Copyright 2017 Rise Above the Fall - Peter Needham