Passive Aggressiveness

Passive Aggressiveness

3 Steps on how to answer and reduce someone that actioned you in a passive aggressive state.

  1. If the questions are directed at your faults or directed about what you are doing in your life, that does not line up with you. Just respond by asking why, they are asking that question. Or realize that you did not give them the authority to ask you that question! Then say “why did you do that?” Then wait for an answer.
  1. Recognize the attack, speak positive about what you are doing in your life now and that you are moving forward.
  1. Hold your position that you are an amazing gifted person. Tell them that there is no need to comment any further. Be confident in you, shoulder back, chin up and take a deep breath.

Sometimes people may say some inappropriate things that they did not have the authority to say. This may make you feel that you need to defend yourself by answering them. The answer

Recognizing the language used is key!

So how do you do that?

How to respond to someone that is passive aggressive to you?

Listening to how the conversation is going. I myself am learning how to be quicker on identifying if the conversation is heading that way. Once you realize that it heading in the way you did not intent, slowly start to exit the conversation.


  1. Be aware of underline feelings. Try and talk to your friend and explain how their behaviour and attitude has distressed you. Always start with “I feel hurt by what…” mention the person in question. Do not be afraid to tell them how you felt. Take a few seconds and start talking in a calm manner.
  1. Be aware of trying to get back at that person. You may feel to retaliate because you are upset, but stay calm. Remember they are just learning about how you feel and don’t blame yourself for this process.
  1. Don’t feel attacked but take an overall view of the situation. Remember you also played a part in its development so, it is important to take ownership as well.
  2. Be more assertive; being more assertive about what happened to you and speaking up will give you more self-confidence. It lets the person know that you have a voice and there are boundaries in place
  1. You have a right to your feelings, communicate them honesty with no reservations.
  1. Look for the small things that lead to a positive out come. It will help in the continued effort of resolving the issues that got you in an awkward position.

This is only the beginning of an ongoing process. It would be important to note that all method will need to be repeated regularly.



© Copyright 2017 Rise Above the Fall - Peter Needham