How to Navigate a Costly Mistake
How to best defuse and navigate, a costly mistake, if there has been infidelity, or a detachment from the relationship and the other partner is having a hard time processing what has happened. Let’s take a brief look inside the minds of the parties involved. Some factors behind the person that did the cheating, or may have lost interest resulting in a detachment at the end of the relationship.
- If there isn’t a creative way to keep the relationship going, a lack of interest will rise to the surface. What you do well for that day , may not work for tomorrow! Everyday you will have to start over. Start small and major on the small things.
- A sudden increase of conflict and arguments that are not easily detected will result in resentment.
Take time to notice if:
- His/Her body language is off
- You are being verbally shut down
- He/She are being disinterested in the conversation
- He/She are distant from everything to do with you
These are all problem alerts!!!!
Solutions: When these triggers become apparent, you need to
- Stop: And ask the question “did I do or say something wrong”?
- Recognize: Realize that you caused him or her to be triggered in some way. As the other party you need to own it! You now have sent the task to find out what it was. Do not leave the conversation until it has been verified! (I will explain later this very important part!)
- Explain: You may have to explain in great detail, about what you meant to say until he or she are settled in his or her mind emotionally.
- Reassure: Reassure her or him with clear intention of the misunderstanding.
If there is a lack of communicating and a failure to express how you are feeling, the closeness of the relationship will start to diminish. (If it is the male, they tend to require acknowledgement, for the female, they require attention).
These are areas that need to be addressed quickly. Please be aware that control and jockeying for position can be costly for both partners.
In a man their self-esteem could be weaken and can create a challenge for them communicating. This means if she is controlling, he will at first fight for his self-esteem but in the end he will eventually leave the relationship physically or even worse physically stay but mentally leave their relationship.
For the women her self- worth could be devalued. If he continues to not pay any attention to her by not hearing here cry out saying spend time with me she will eventually stop crying out. She will leave the relationship or even worse physically stay in but leave the relationship mentally.
We have to look at the root causes of what broke down in the relationship. If he fails to understand her emotional needs she will eventually stop crying out to be heard.
Now for the other person that is doing the cheating, two things are happening here, they have already come to the conclusion that they are going to get their needs met and they have already surpassed their conscious feelings in their hearts of knowing its wrong.
Feelings lead to thoughts, thoughts lead to actions, actions lead to results.