Trauma is a wound caused to the psyche by an extreme source which does not allow the body and mind to process what happen quick enough or in some case not at all.
When a person is experiencing abuse through trauma, the mind takes on a huge role as far as the process, security, defense and survival. The mind will block out certain specific memories to protect itself from the trauma. The mind realizes quickly that what you are experiencing hurts and put up defenses to protect itself.
Ways Trauma is created
- The mind absorbs the one experience of the trauma, then begins to absorb more similar experiences of the same trauma.
- The mind may begin to set up a defense mechanism by creating a shadow like effect to trick the conscious mind into thinking that the trauma was a one event and a one-time event only.
- Then, the mind will try and group all similar disturbances of the event behind the initial trauma experience.
This type of defense mechanism may allow the victim to view and think that the crisis only happened once. This example is one of many different forms of protection the mind and body will try and create to protect itself from trauma and abuse. As the mind tries to protect by hiding this way, it insolates by keeping the memory locked away.
The memory of abuse or trauma can be opened or triggered in several ways;
The Gates to our Mind and its Senses
- Hearing; If one hears a similar sound, pitch or phrase, this may bring forward the event again and cause an automatic defense to protect (fight or flight) scenario.
- Seeing with eyes; if person sees something that is similar in nature of the trauma or abuse, the memory of what was seen may be received in the sub-conscious mind and this action of what you are seeing may take the person back to the event instantly. Now it has become a current event or conscious action lased with real feeling.
The reaction of how to respond may be healthy or unhealthy depending what boundaries if any are in place.
- The Mouth; sometimes what was said, how it was voiced will trigger a response making the body and mind react. The question is how will it react?
With trauma and abuse we are looking at two possible variables, the person (s) will either fight or flight.
This is done all under the umbrella of “I must protect myself”.
The Flight variable factors from the victims view point
- Shutting down and not speaking
- Minimal to no confrontation with the aggressor
- Mentally shutting down in the mind to escape from trauma or abuse (go to a happier memory in the mind)
- Shy in public places and little to no social involvement in group settings
- Fear and shame mounts each time the trauma is relived
- Isolation tries to insulate where memory loss becomes self-evident (person just won’t remember because it hurts too much) Caution and sensitively needs to be exercised here.
The Fight variables factors from the victims view point
- Feelings of being attacked, so attack first
- Thinking Must retaliate before getting hurt again
- Becoming angry at aggressor( possibly because of the violation that was inflicted upon )
- Physical violence, assaulting someone or even assaulting self ( The possible reason for this maybe that the victim might feel worthless ,tainted or dirty because of what happened)
In some of these examples the mind will activate these engines. Once the person decide on one it is hard to transition out and into a process of healing, but it is possible. Later on I will suggest some tools and strategies (systems) that will help regain self-worth, self-esteem, value, strength, safety, security
Transitioning from Anger and Bitterness
One of the strategies to consider when moving from anger and bitterness is to take a moment and calm down. Think for a few minutes about what route you took to get here to this point of anger. Remember that there are several stages that lead to anger and bitterness. Now there are some methods that may lead you back to a calmer period, here are some to consider.
- The power of Auto-Suggestion; this method requires you to be audible and passionate about calming down, the brain will recognize the vibrations of you telling yourself to calm down, the brain will also send a message to the entire body that this procedure is happening..
- Passion mixed with desire is the only way that will cause the sub-conscious mind to respond and take notice of what you want to do. Please be serious about calming down. This process may need to be repeated a few time before it really takes hold and begin to work.
- Consider the worst case scenario; losing your kids because the situation escalated, authorities were involved or losing control, just to name a few.
These are very good methods to do and think about. Getting to a calming place is necessary in order to move into having a forgiving heart which leads to great self-control, good self-esteem, confident about self, feeling safe and having good healthy boundaries.
- Monitor your habits and recognize how your body react to certain things, your body generally will indicate that something’s wrong.
- Don’t isolate yourself from people trained to help.
- Having courage is part of the battle. Speaking out about what happened helps with the process of your healing.
- Have an accountability partner to come along side you in journey.
- Feeding yourself positive self-talk and words of encouragement constantly.
- Keep your mind clear from any reminders that might lure you back to that unhealthy place.
- Remind yourself that your blueprint to succeed is layered in the simple healthy steps you do to keep your mind strong.
- Lead your mind with clear intentions and keep it busy with a pre-emptive plan so it does not stray to things that are not of valve to your health and well being
- Have an action plan prepared for those dicey moments.
- Remember, if you can create your thoughts, you can master your fears. So create a healing strategy.
- Know that you are a good person and repeat this thought to yourself as many times as your thoughts lead you (meaning negative thoughts countered with a positive thoughts about you).
- Be passionate about your healing with the power of auto-suggestion.
Remember through this segment the power of auto-suggestion. Auto-suggestion is an agency that absorbs control through the outer walls of the subconscious mind. You have the authority to voluntarily feed your mind productively or can also feed the mind by denial (destructively). At which the auto-suggestion will permit the entry of both types of your thoughts into your mind. The database which is the subconscious mind, records the data and hardwires it`s programming for use. You control the intake and the programming does the rest.